On Friday 8 September, at the Town Hall in Chipping Norton, The Lido's (in)famous Auction of Promises is back. There's just one hitch - unfortunately due to an incredibly busy schedule, our regular ‘A List’ celebrity auctioneer, Jeremy Clarkson, is not available for this traditional Lido Fundraiser, so we’ve searched high and scraped deep to find someone nowhere near as famous or talented... Introducing semi-professional, 'celebrity' auctioneer, ITV 5’s Binkie de Sluice.

Many won’t recognise Binkie from his brief time on television’s ‘Bargain Hunt’ and his infrequent appearances as repro-ceramics expert on ‘Antiques Roadshow’, but most will know him from the tabloids’ coverage of his fraud and art counterfeit trial at the Old Bailey in 2009. Despite his controversial acquittal, Binkie has been out of the public eye for some years, so this is a rare chance to see the ‘magic’ that makes him singularly talentless, unpredictable and potentially volatile. Strap yourselves in for an unmissable comic auction that promises to raise both hairs and funds in equal measure.

Tickets priced just £10 are available from The Lido and Jaffé & Neale Bookshop. Doors open at 7.15pm, ready for the Auction to start at 8.00pm.

Keep an eye on this page to find out what will be going under Binkie's hammer.

(Binkie de Sluice is presented by Left of Centre Illusion, the company behind comedy Russian mind-reader ‘Kockov’)

Binkie

Jeremy Clarkson

Our usual auctioneer, the journalist, author, broadcaster, The Grand Tour presenter and all round top-banana, has been an active supporter of The Lido right from the word go and has even written about the us in his Sunday Times column:

"The old town hall was stuffed to the gunwales with people who'd donated prizes. There were hundreds of them. I know because I was the auctioneer. "A jar of home- made jam, sold to you, sir, at the back. Two bags of dung. Who'll give me a tenner?" It was a fantastic evening.

Jezza

My daughter, got into the swing of things and helped her dad by bidding for things that wouldn't sell. We went home with a puncture repair kit and six signed copies of my own book. From memory, the evening raised £12,000, which was - with a bit of help from the town council - enough to keep the pool open for a year. So, 12 months later, we were back to do it again. And we’ve been back every year since."

Our last Auction raised around £15,000 towards the upkeep and running of our pools and steam room. Take a look at the video

Current items

A Tonne of Compost

Get more info by clicking here A Tonne of Compost

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Distillery tour for four

Get more info by clicking here A tour of the Cotswolds Distillery for four, plus a bottle of gin.

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Meal for two at The Hare

Get more info by clicking here A a meal for two with a glass of house wine each.

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A brace of Cropredy Weekend Passes

Get more info by clicking here Two full weekend tickets, plus camping pass to one of the UK's best music festivals.

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A rare & precious Dog Swim ticket!

Get more info by clicking here This year's Dog Swim sold out within days, so this is your one and only remaining chance to get the last ticket!

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Winter Garden Tidy Up

Get more info by clicking here A day's tidy up over winter 2017/18 (x 2 lots).

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A Bottle of Scotch

Get more info by clicking here A bottle of House of Commons scotch signed by former PM, David Cameron.

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5 “Ride with your Mind” riding lessons

Get more info by clicking here 5 one-to-one riding lessons with a registered "Ride With Your Mind" and biomechanics coach.

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Hypnotherapy Taster Session

Get more info by clicking here A 60 minute relaxing hypnotherapy session, as a taster of what hypnotherapy can offer.

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A Bottle of Champagne

Get more info by clicking here A bottle of House of Commons Champagne signed by MPs.

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A MINI for the weekend

Get more info by clicking here Drive off in a Mini for the Weekend

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A Pony Morning

Get more info by clicking here A pony morning for up to two people/children.

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Family Haircuts

Get more info by clicking here Cut and blow dry (if desired) for two adults and two children.

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Tea for two

Get more info by clicking here Afternoon tea for two with Prosecco in The Chipping Norton Tea Set.

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Jaffé & Neale Book Therapy

Get more info by clicking here A literary personal shopping experience.

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Bees Knees

Get more info by clicking here A short introduction to beekeeping.

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Porsche Club Membership

Get more info by clicking here One year’s gift membership of Porsche Club GB.

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Limited edition Porsche print

Get more info by clicking here Porsche 917 limited edition print.

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2 tickets to YIMBY's Gala Concert

Get more info by clicking here 2 tickets to YIMBY Festival's Gala Concert on 1st October.

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De-stress

Get more info by clicking here A two-hour session on how to release stress.

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A meal for two at The Kingham Plough

Get more info by clicking here Meal for two plus a bottle of house wine at the wonderful Kingham Plough.

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Hot air balloon flight

Get more info by clicking here Hot air balloon flight for two people.

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Young Driver's Lessons!

Get more info by clicking here Six one-hour driving lessons for a 10-17 year old.

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Season Ticket

Get more info by clicking here All your 2018 swimming!

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2 VIP tickets to Motorcycle Live

Get more info by clicking here 2 VIP tickets to Motorcycle Live at Birmingham NEC.

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Blenheim Palace

Get more info by clicking here A family outing to Blenheim Palace.

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Tenby holiday

Get more info by clicking here A week's stay in Tenby.

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Flock Comedy

Get more info by clicking here Four tickets to the next Flock Comedy Night at The Town Hall on 13th October.

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A bit of a hair do

Get more info by clicking here Colour, cut and blow dry at Bakers Hair.

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Dinner plus B&B for two at Wild Thyme

Get more info by clicking here Three-course dinner for two PLUS overnight stay and continental breakfast.

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Breakfast at Whistlers

Get more info by clicking here Coffee and croissants for two people once a week until Christmas.

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Flying!

Get more info by clicking here Hangar tour and 40-minute flight for three people.

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Sunday lunch at WineBear

Get more info by clicking here Sunday lunch for four people at WineBear.

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Pedicure

Get more info by clicking here A luxury pedicure in Over Norton Studio.

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Meal for 4 at the Blue Boar

Get more info by clicking here A 3-course meal for 4 at Chipping Norton's Blue Boar.

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Dinner at WineBear

Get more info by clicking here Dinner for four people cooked by head chef Will Patterson (ex Wild Rabbit) including expertly chosen wine at WineBear’s newly opened restaurant.

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Pie-tastic!

Get more info by clicking here Pie-making workshop.

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Hamper of home-grown produce

Get more info by clicking here A hamper of home-grown and homemade goodies from The Lido's Trustees.

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Superbikes!

Get more info by clicking here 2 x weekend passes for the British Superbikes GP season finale event

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